Help!

My friend has a three-year-old.  She also has children who are considerably older and are pretty independent and self-sufficient.  They are constantly on the go, running to sporting events and friends’ houses and school functions.  You may think that means the “baby” gets left out and ignored.  Au contraire!

My friend reports that if her youngest child needs something he’ll go stand in the hallway (the hub of activity) and proclaim:  “I need help!  Somebody help me!  Help!”

Nope, no need to worry about this kid.

My friend and I were discussing this direct approach of asking for help.  Not disguising it.  Not apologizing for it.  Not bargaining for it.  Not being ashamed of it.  Just facing facts:  I need help.  And not only asking for it, but fully expecting that somebody will help you if you need it and even should help you if you need it.

We just giggled and shook our heads at the genius of a three-year-old, the boldness, the simplicity.

We acknowledged that we hardly ever ask for help and certainly not with such ease.  Rather, asking for help only comes after weighing every option and ruling out all possible alternatives.  It’s a desperation move made only when we can see no other way.

But why?
Why don’t we just ask?
Not yell in the hallway, perhaps, but ask nonetheless.
Ask AND fully expect that someone will help…gladly.

Maybe it has something to do with pride.
Or self-reliance.
Or responsibility.
Or judgment.
Or worthiness.

Maybe it has to do with expectations and previous disappointments.
Maybe it has to do with confidence–too much in ourselves, not enough in others.

For me, I know part of it is not wanting to be a bother.  Don’t make waves.  Don’t interrupt.  Glide around quietly so as not to disturb anyone.

Whatever it is, my friend and I decided we’re going to embrace this straight up-no apology approach of asking for help.  Not that we’re suddenly going to seek help at every turn, but that we’re going to stop wringing our hands about asking for help when needed.  We’re going to take the approach that it’s actually rather lovely to share our need with another person.  To not be “perfect” in front of them.  To show that we trust them.  To be grateful for them.

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Inhale…

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Exhale…

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Would you please help me?

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(Gee, that wasn’t so bad)